Man....WHAT is going on?? the past week has been crazy.. I have been working at expo like crazy...busting my ass full time for 7 days straight. I'm so fucking tired...but i got the day off today so i'm happy. I'm going to put my first savings in for the japan trip so thats good. Tomorrow is prolly gonna be my last day at expo because....

I got a job at lucas arts as a Q&A Engineer. woo! My first industry job. It was the CRAZIEST itnerview ive ever had. I walk in....and theres a panel of like...10 People...and im like..SHIT!! plus I was like 15 minutes late, so i was pretty sure i wasnt gonna get it...there were 2 other people being interviewd with me...i sit down and just started getting GRILLED with questions...it was like a grand jury investigation or something lol. I cracked some jokes and stuff so i think they liked me. I'm going to be working like 60 hours a week, so its gonna bring in some good change for the trip. I need to figure out how much I need cause I wanna come back with an Angelus..I'm hoping I can get a used one or something.


I had SUCH an intense conversation with my aunt last night..I think me and her are more alike than me and my mom...in a LOT of ways. We talked about everything...family, work, relationship advice..all kinds of shit..she really opened my eyes to things i never thought about myself..


I hate how i cant control my feelings...how come when i set myself to not feel something, something happens and breaks down that barrier...i mean...whats going on in my mind...*sigh* i am in a really confused state of mind....i dont know what i'm feeling, it seems very dangerous though....damn feelings........


I talked to ronnie the other day..I HAVENT TALKED TO HIM IN FOREVER! he's doing good in NY. man i really should take a trip to the east coast..


i always have too much to think about...